Ne Me Mori Facias
by JackHollows
Summary: Death, my heart sinks and I die too inside. Words can't express the pain and the futility. I can't save you, I'm so sorry, I have to let you die. KxF, angsty and painful.


I am writing way too many of these multi-chapter fics and never finishing them, but this one is only two chapters, so maybe, just maybe, I'll finish it ( I must, or I'll be cut off from my precious, precious review supply. It's like blood in an animal.) I just really wanted to write a fic based on death, since I haven't written one like that since "As Blue Fades". As for my lack of proper explanation in this story, Kurogane was poisened in some way that made him sleep like he was dead. It wears off with time, but until then he seems perfectly dead. I kind of failed to explain that properly in this fic.

Uber thanks to bloodytwistedangel and Toketsu Iji! You guys are my super fast runny shoes of writing!

Oh, and bloodytwistedangel, I will write that lemon as a followup for "Disgusting" with lots of rape goodness because...because I can! I've never written a lemon, so I envy you, know that!

This fic is kinda in a way based on the end of Romeo and Juliet, but only a little, so much that it's hard to even relate it at all, but that's where the idea stemmed from nonetheless.

The new world they'd been rudely thrust into wasn't exactly the paradise they'd hoped it be, grey skies and the ever present chill of the air kept the smiles off their faces and their eyes cast downwards. The house had been silent for days now, the usual cheer that accompanied their daily escapes was absent. The door creaked, Sakura peering into Kurogane's room where Fai was kneeling by his bedside, watching a seemingly asleep Kurogane with a look of hopelessness in his eyes, however, the smile was still there,

" Fai-san?"

Sakura said weakly, she truly didn't think it was her place to disturb Fai, but he'd been locked up in Kurogane's room for quite some time,

" Fai-san...Kurogane is-"

Fai's smile dropped, his icy blue eyes finally tore themselves from Kurogane and met her emerald,

" Leave."

Sakura obeyed, stepping away and closing the door carefully. She stayed there for some time, Fai was driving himself mad and Sakura felt helpless. Syaoran glanced up at Sakura,

" How is he?"

He asked, concern pictured in his amber eyes as he looked up from the book cradled in his hands. Sakura cast her eyes downward, stating hopelessly,

" He's worse, Syaoran, he's beginning to scare me."

Syaoran closed the book shut, sighing,

" There's nothing we can do Sakura, he'll accept it eventually. It's best that we leave him alone for now."

Tears still glistened in Fai's eyes, the smile was fading again, it was getting harder to keep his mask in place the more time went on, his hope dwindling by the second,

" Kuro-chi?"

Fai said, with almost a sickly sad enthusiasm to it, shaking Kurogane by the shoulder,

" Kuro-tan...please wake up..."

Fai brought his hand back, trembling,

" Your cold, Kuro-rin..."

Fai collapsed down on the bed, muffling his sobs in Kurogane's chest. Fai brought himself eye level to Kurogane, pleading with him,

" Wake up, please, wake up Kuro-wan!"

Fai's smile broke again,

" Kurogane!"

Then there was silence again, Fai again breaking into tears that he damned Kurogane for not comforting him from. He eventually found his eyelids heavy and falling shut slowly, and was asleep before he could ask Kurogane to wake up for him one last time.

Fai's eyes snapped open upon hearing Syaoran whisper his name, holding a tray of food and almost looking at he and Kurogane in disgust,

" I brought you something to eat...you haven't eaten in days you know."

Fai simply nodded, he took the tray but simply dropped it on the floor, the food spilling everywhere, only to look back up at Syaoran lifelessly,

" Fai..."

Syaoran almost sounded angry, Fai had yet to accept the truth of things, it was like he was incapable of moving on,

" Kurogane is dead, Fai!"

Fai's eyes widened,

" Liar! Get out, get out, I don't want you near my Kuro-koi!"

"Fai!"

Syaoran shook him by the shoulders,

" You can't lie next to a corpse and cry anymore! It's...it's just wrong, we have to bury him or something."

Fai pushed him away,

" Never! He's-he's alive! I know it, Syaoran, you think that I'd just give up on him but I just know he's still there, I just know he's going to wake up soon!"

Syaoran's fists tightened,

" Fai, Kurogane is dead."

Fai broke out on top tears again, throwing himself over Kurogane protectively as Syaoran shook his head in remorse and left the room, leaving Fai alone to lament over his lost lover.

" I hate you!"

Fai shouted at Kurogane's corpse, his eyes still full of tears, his expression of fear, anger, and misunderstanding,

" I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!"

Fai tangled his fingers in Kurogane's spiky black hair, staring down at him,

" Why won't you wake up?"

Sakura stood at her bedroom door, still listening to Fai's cries of dismay, surprised he could keep it up even this late at night,

" I'm worried for you, Fai..."

She whispered before climbing into bed and forcing herself into sleep. Syaoran still read his books, hopelessly trying to keep himself awake. Eventually he to succumb to sleep and was soon lost to tiredness in his chair, the book laid out on his lap.

Fai was now the only one awake, trembling as he finally pulled himself away from Kurogane, all hope now lost,

" So, you left without me, huh Kurogane?"

Fai asked weakly,

" You...we..didn't even have the time to begin, I thought that maybe..."

Fai had to hold back his sobs again, he wanted to be heard normally, despite the fact there was no one there to hear him,

" We could of run away together, I've been running away alone for a long time now, Ashura...he couldn't even get me if you were there, Kurogane. You've always been overprotective."

Fai cracked a weak smile,

" Big puppy."

Fai closed his eyes and came closer to Kurogane again, unable to bear the sheer loneliness of not being close to him,

" I love you, Kurogane."

There was only silence. Fai choked back tears and pulled himself up, nearly falling off the bed as he tore himself off of it, stumbling to the wall where Kurogane's sword was placed,

" Why won't you just wake up and tell me you love me too!"

Fai grabbed the sword and spun around to face Kurogane, his smile was gone, the mask completely shattered,

" Why can't my story have a happy ending? Why do I have to always end up with pain, no matter what I do? I never did anything to anyone, so why am I always being punished? Why did you hurt me too? Why did you do this to me, Kurogane?"

Kurogane stirred ,though unnoticed by Fai, from a deathlike sleep. He struggled to open his eyes, he found himself incapable, he tried to call Fai's name but he couldn't make a sound. He could only hear the sounds of Fai's monologue to the dead. Though now he heard the footsteps come towards him, and then Fai was atop him agian, straddling him and by the sounds of it he knew he had unsheathed his sword. Kurogane struggled to move, to speak, to make any sign that he was alive. He didn't know what had happened to him to make him sleep like he was dead, but it was wearing off. Fai didn't notice however,

" I'm sorry Kurogane, I just don't want to be alone. I just want to be with you."

Fai's hands trembled as he held the sword, lifting it up so that the blade faced parallel with his gut, Fai closed his eyes, tears still streaming down his face,

" I-I don't have any other reason to go on without you, Kurogane, no other value. What point to I have to exist anymore when all I was living for was you? I'm so sick of running, so tired of acting like a coward and selfishly hanging onto an existence that's otherwise worthless."

Fai smiled,

" I'm a bit afraid, Kurogane. I wonder what happens...when you die."

Kurogane's finger twitched, he was regaining control of his body, but not enough to show Fai he wasn't dead, he wasn't even breathing and Kurogane had to wonder what in the hell had happened to him, and how he could even think when his heart wasn't beating and he wasn't breathing at all. Listening to Fai talk was tearing him up inside, he wanted to wake up and rip the sword away and hopefully prevent what Kurogane was dreading that Fai was planning for himself. Fai was unsure, the sword was less than welcoming and the thought of suicide scared him. Fai knew what he had decided to do though, and he held the sword out purposefully,

" I'm coming with you, Kurogane."

Kurogane would have screamed if he had the ability, he had to wake up, he had to move, he had to do something. His mind struggled against his now useless body, agonizing over Fai's words, he had to stop Fai, had to keep him from dying for real. In an instant Kurogane's eyes forced themselves open, Fai gasping as he saw them the same second that he forced the sword through his stomach.

" Fai..."

Kurogane only mouthed it, since he was still incapable of using his voice, and Fai smiled a weak, forced smile, blood dripped from the corner of his mouth as he struggled to speak in pain,

" I...just h-have all the luck, don't..I, Kuro-tan?"

Fai collapsed on top of Kurogane, breathing heavily and Kurogane hesitated to pull the sword out of him,

" You...idiot..."

Kurogane said weakly, trying his best to smile.

" Hey...Kuro-pi is...smiling."

Fai breathed heavily, the blood seeped through his white clothing and he looked up at Kurogane and did his best smile could for Kurogane in return. Kurogane's mind was in anguish, god, Fai is dying, and for no god damn reason. Kurogane shook in fear, anger, and torment as he wrapped his arms around the injured Fai and pulled him close. Fai cried, Fai cried his eyes out into Kurogane's chest and Kurogane shut his eyes tightly and tried not to cry as well.

" I'm...I'm going to die,...aren't I Kurogane?"

Fai's eyes were wide in terror, and the fact Fai was unsure this would kill him hurt him even more,

" Yes..."

Kurogane said, choking back tears. He couldn't think of anything comforting to say, Fai had just killed himself.

" You want me to get Sakura and Syaoran?"

Kurogane asked Fai, Fai just started to bawl agian, he really was dying.

" N-No..."

Blood dripped down Fai's chin, seeing it made Kurogane shudder,

" I just want...to be alone with you...Kuro..."

Kurogane looked down at him, he felt bad asking, but,

" Shouldn't you be dead by now?"

Fai smirked,

" It's kind of hard to die for me, but...I feel it, it's gonna happen...weren't you listening to anything I said all this time we've been together?"

" Every word, Fai."

Fai just cried more, hands curled up against Kurogane's chest,

" I don't want to die!"

Fai screamed, Kurogane could feel pain in his heart like someone had drove that same sword sticking through Fai through it,

" Don't let me die, Kurogane!"

This fic will have one more chapter, lots of anst and deathy-sadness to come!

REVIEW! Oh god, please, I'm begging you!


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